Headbangers (?) Ball

I have been keeping some odd hours lately, so I found myself watching television late Monday night/Tuesday morning. While scrolling through the channel guide, I saw a listing for Headbangers Ball (HB, as it will further be known) at 3am, so I flipped over to watch an hour of what MTV2 considers metal. Years ago, before the internet, YouTube, and cheap, yet quality video recording equipment, HB was the only option for seeing the latest metal videos, which consisted of bands on labels that had a video budget! We can sit and argue over what videos were played, or whether Riki Rachtman was a suitable host, but overall, it was cool that MTV set aside a 2-hour block for metal’s visual aspirations. If you want to know more about the various incarnations of HB over the years, here is a solid summary.

HB always suffered from trends in music, and the show I witnessed a couple of nights ago reflected this ad nauseam. In all honesty, they should change the name of the show, as the amount of headbangable material is truly in question here. For the fun of discussion and hating (or possibly liking), I have posted all ten videos that were played in the hour-long program (with my comments):

Sacred Oath – Counting Zeros – This is the video that opened the show. Seriously?! This is just embarassing all around, and unfortunate for all who have endured this song and video, but most unfortunate for Dee Snider and Jon Stewart, who seem to have spawned a love child in the form of Sacred Oath’s vocalist.

We Came As Romans – To Move On Is To Grow – This video is a vast improvement in the visual department when compared to Sacred Oath, but musically, it is equally nauseating. I hate this stuff, with its all-metal-button production, clean-singing guy whining, and ubiquitous, tough-guy vocals from a 2nd dude. Can someone tell me when this nonsense will stop?

Chiodos – Caves – I cannot believe the concept for this video has never been done before! A band, playing in the desert! Craziness. Similar to WCAR before, except Chiodos only needs one guy to handle both horrible vocal styles. I hate skinny manpris.

Gwen Stacey – A Dialogue – Come on! Enough of this already! I thought the kids running in this video had the right idea, run as far away as possible. Wow, was I fooled. This band has the dual-vocal thing going, with the clean vocals provided by the emotive bass player. The chorus contains the worst type of clean vocals, that before-emo-existed-as-a-genre singing filtered through a Blink-182 influence. This just sucks.

Holy Grail – My Last Attack – I am over this rehash as well. This stuff is so contrived and watered-down compared to the original bands of this style. I do enjoy the video though. Very simple, black-and-white with the band thrashing it out on a small stage for some fans. At least this is deserving of play on a show called Headbangers Ball, as there is a lot of headbanging and shredding. The wailing vocals at the 3:54 mark are terrible.

Oceano – Weaponized – In case you may not have noticed, I am a fan of the more extreme (not the band) side of metal, but I am not a fan of this death-core genre. For those of you not able to discern vocals of the deathly variety, this vocalist is generic at best. I do not like the sychronized headbanging. It is especially lame in slow-motion. I just picture these guys practicing their moves like Kip Winger would. I like videos with a story I can follow, but I expected more brutality and carnage than was delivered.

Underoath – In Division – Musically, this is the best of the bunch for this style. Visually, this is the most aesthetically pleasing video of the entire hour. Personally, I would still never watch this again.

The Empire Shall Fall – Lords of War – Is this the former vocalist of Killswitch Engage and Seemless? Guess his best days are behind him. Not as bad as Sacred Oath, but a dreadfully boring song and video. I liked the outro riff/chorus better when it was done by about 100 different stoner-metal bands in 2003.

This Is Hell – Bloodlines – This is the hardcore equivalent to Sacred Oath. While I liked Holy Grail playing for some fans, this just looks silly.

Deftones – You’ve Seen the Butcher – I do not own any Deftones albums, but I like some Deftones. This is not some of the Deftones I like. This is very… artsy? No, this is lazy, and completely forgettable.

Whether any of these bands are your bag or not, feel free to comment. – Tim